As we come to the end of the year, many people will find themselves looking back and reflecting on the year gone by. We think about how quickly it went by, the trials and tribulations, the joy we experienced and how grateful we are that we have got to the end of it in one piece.
Many people will be thinking about what they want to gain in 2015 that they didn’t in 2014 and I’m not talking about just the extra inches we’ll all gain from the massive festive dinner on Christmas day! It will be the new job they want, the holiday they want to go on, the house they want to move to or the things they didn’t get round to doing this year.
What if the most powerful thing you could do to set yourself up for the up and coming year was not to think about what you would like to gain but instead what you will let go of?
Here are my suggestions for three game changing beliefs to let go of for 2015.
Having To Know The Outcome
We are a nation addicted to certainty. We are addicted to knowing the outcome of events before they happen because if we don’t know beyond all certainty, the risk of taking action can be too big.
This is true even if the action that we continue to take is either bad for us or not giving us the results we want. We take comfort and safety from the familiar. This won’t stop the moaning about the results that inevitably occur when you keep picking the same path of course….
There are many people who right now are in jobs that they hate. They may have been doing the same job for years, the environment they are working could be toxic and every day they are dying a little on the inside when they have to get up and go and do a job that is sucking the life out of them.
You’d think that if you felt like this you would just change your job right? But for many not so; they stay in the same job and continue to be unhappy.
The unconscious reason for this is that they are addicted to certainty; better the devil you know. The voices in the head will be saying, what if I were to make a move and it wasn’t the right one? What if the new job is worse than the one I’m in? What if I can’t do the new job and I get found out and go backwards?
They become frozen by fear of the unknown and so they do nothing and they wait. They wait for the pathway in front of them to become clear so they know beyond all certainty which way to go. Then they’ll move. Then they’ll take action.
The thing is you can never know with certainty how things will work out and if you are waiting for the fog to lift and for the pathway to become clear you will be waiting a very long time. Your pathway will only become clear once you take action and start moving. Your pathway is not set out in front of you, your pathway is behind you. It’s like a snail trail, you don’t see it ahead, it appears behind you once you’ve moved.
If you think back 12 months, did you know what was going to happen this year? Did you think you would be sitting here reading this blog right now? Unless you have a magical crystal ball (if you do please message me so I can buy you a coffee), the answer will be no, of course not! How could you know?
When you let go of the need for certainty and trust that what ever your journey throws at you you will be able to handle it, just like you have handled everything that it has thrown at you before, the fear drops away. What you are now left with is a feeling of excitement and curiosity about what lies ahead.
I wonder what you could achieve next year by letting going of the need to know the outcome before you take action….? The possibilities are endless, you just have to pick a path you haven’t walked down before and see what’s down there.
The Need To Be Right
In the past, the need to be right was very important to me. Because if I wasn’t right then it meant I was wrong. And if I was wrong it meant that I was no good. So that meant I would be found out and then what would people think of me?
Earlier in 2014 I started to realise how much I was missing out on in life because of this belief. When you have to be right all the time that therefore means that others that don’t agree with you or have a different viewpoint must be wrong.
When you come from this standpoint it hugely limits your ability to learn and grow because you instantly have to dismiss what others are saying as wrong, or you’ll be wrong and all the other BS you’ve been believing.
If you let go of the need to be right, this means you can get REALLY curious about what others are saying. As you start to come from a place of curiosity rather than trying to defend your position, the world then just opens up to you and you will then start to see, hear and feel things that you have never been able to experience before.
Fighting for the need to be right takes up a whole load of wasted energy. It’s ok to not be right because when you are not that’s when you get to learn something new, you grow and then progress is made. Being wrong is exciting if you think about it like that.
Don’t allow your progress in your career, business or life to be stifled by hanging on to the need to be right.
Thinking Your Rules Are The Only Rules
We all live our lives by a set of rules. These rules have been taught to us by our parents when we were children or by events that happen to us throughout our lives. They are usually unconscious to us but we staunchly believe that these rules are the right rules and the only ones that should be followed.
There are some rules that are generally accepted by most to be true, like not killing anyone and not stealing from another and these rules make up the fabric of humanity. But there are a myriad of other rules like what has to happen for a person to feel loved or what is classed as good manners or how to conduct yourself in the work place and these things vary hugely from person to person and culture to culture.
But really who is to say that the rules you live your life by are any better than that of another person? Wars are started over rules, as countries defend their way of life and their own set of rules.
Religion is a very obvious place where you can see how rules are played out. In the Christian faith alone there are many different sects, from Catholics, Methodists, Protestants and Jehovah Witnesses; even Judaism believes in the same god. But each sect has it’s own set of rules which they believe you need to follow in order to honor the same god and each believes their rules are the only correct ones.
In just the last couple of weeks we have witnessed a man in Sydney who held hostage 17 people for the rules he lived his life by.
When we let go of the need to believe that our rules are the only rules that are right it doesn’t mean that we are agreeing to live by others rules, it just means that we become accepting that everyone else’s rules are not necessarily wrong.
Behind every raised temper is a broken rule. As you accept others have different rules and allow others to live by their rules without trying to make them live by yours, it means we will then all live our lives more peacefully, together, side by side.
Wishing you all a very happy and prosperous 2015!
For a helping hand along your life journey contact:
Tel: +61 (0)402 891144
As well as being a Chartered Management Accountant (CIMA) and ex-CFO with over 20 years experience, she has also worked extensively with small and medium sized business owners to help them grow profitable businesses.
She's also a certified coach, NLP practitioner, Metadynamics TM Consultant and contributor for Kochie’s Business Builders.
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